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Bra fitting help » band far too tight among other issues

Cleo » Lucy Balconnet Bra (5851) » 30DD 30:5

first off sorry if the pics kinda suck they were taken with a webcam so are kinda janky..
so, while i can put the bra On, the band even on loosest hooks feels so, so, so incredibly tight, and like the entire bra is pulling me in somehow, if that makes sense?
the band is too tight, i can hardly take a deep breath with it on, the straps restrict my movement and just arent comfortable even when as loose as i can get em, the underwire digs in on the outer side of my bigger breast (my <- side), and (should be in pictures) seems to dig in to the smaller one too, but it doesnt hurt on that one?? and if i have my arms forward at all the straps dig into my armpit/tail of spence?
i got an extender for it which SHOULD be in the pictures and if the pics are displayed in the same order i uploaded them in initially, the latter pics should be the ones where i'm wearing it with the extender. but when i wear it with the extender i get LOTS of gaping in the cup no matter how much i scoop & swoop like my boobs fall down and to the sides, the band feels far too loose like it's falling down, really the only sturdy things are the underwire (which still cuts into my larger breast on the outer side even with the extender) and the straps which still hurt loads.
i've worn this bra with the extender for a few hours once and my main issue was, again, how much the underwire on my outer larger breast hurt (though it's worth noting ALL the underwire ALWAYS hurts, it's just most noticable on the outer side larger breast if it isn't clacking against my ribs). i was relieved to take it off and felt like i could properly breathe when i did. i've never worn it without the extender for more than 15 minutes because of how straining it is.
i should have more details on the exact fit of this on my review of it which i'm pretty sure is public if you check my owned bras section? but it was very wordy and missing the point a little so i didn't feel like copy+pasting it for this lol
underwire width issue aside the cups fit the best out of any bra i have, it's just that the band+straps issue makes it unwearable for any real comfort. is this a size, shape, or some other kind of issue??

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