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That moment when you realize you are being lied to about what is 'normal'
The day that will live in infamy.
For years I've had bra related issues. Shoulder/ neck pains, fit problems, poking; bulging - you name it. And you know what? I thought it was just a normal part of having larger breasts. I figured that society didn't cater to my special clothing needs (I'm 5'9 with a larger frame and long legs to begin with) and that this was just something I was going to have to live with. Throw in years of only ever having bra fittings done at Victorias Secret (yes... I know...) and you have a recipe that lead to anxiety and fear every time I needed to shop for a new bra. The VS staff told me pretty consistently that I was a DD/DDD cup, vacillating between a 36 and 38 band depending on the month and up until the last couple months I never had a ton of reason to think otherwise.
Then I started to notice pretty constant quadra-boob going on no matter which one of my bras I was wearing. Even my husband commented on it; it was pretty obvious I was in the wrong size - but I was being silly, I was scared of that letter after my band size and the stigma that came with anything after DD. It actually took my husband (God bless the man) to sit me down, tell me how uncomfortable and miserable I'd looked and to offer to do something (anything) about it before I think I actually admitted there might be a real problem. He did a little bit of research and leg work for me and showed me a bunch of bra makers (that I'd never heard of) who made things specifically for larger chests. It may sound a little creepy, sure, but he was really cute with how excited he was to show me some of the stuff he found. Blogs talking about women in the same boat as me; lied to for years about what size they were by the major lingerie chain stores. He suggested that we actually find me something that fit, regardless of the cup size and showed me the measurement app here on Bratabase.
I don't think it ever really hit me just how wrong my previous estimates of bra size were until I measured myself using the method outlined on this site. Sure, it was the first time I've tried to do some of the (admittedly awkward) measurements, and we may have done a few of them incorrectly the first time around, but the suggested starting size it spat back at me was smidge shocking: 36G. OM'G'. F***. G-cup.
I can quote the hubs as saying he held his breath and waited for me to start crying, but to my credit I did nothing of the sort. I just took a deep breath and said, ok. Lets look into this a little more. I liked the look of a lot of the offerings from Freya and Cleo and luckily we have Nordstroms department stores here in our area that (shockingly to me!) carried a big selection of the DD+ sizes. So we took a day this past weekend and stopped in to see what these monstrous bras looked like in person.
The staff at Nordies was awesome! The one lady who approached me as we looked around was pleasant, helpful and fun. She asked me if I'd been fitted before, I told her yes and what size VS told me I was. I really wish I could have captured the look she gave me when I told her I was a 36DD. It was this cross between horror and bemusement that said "Uh... no." So she took me in back, gave me the once over with her tape measure and disappeared out front to grab some samples. She came back with a handful in different styles (not yet actually telling me her assessment of my size) and had me try on a few. The second bra I put on, a Freya Pasty, wow. I suddenly had a "F***, this feels amazing!" moment that I can safely say I've never had with a bra before. I must have been smiling pretty stupidly and on the verge of tears but damned if everything in my chest region fell into place perfectly. 38E the lady told me after seeing my reaction.
I think it clicked for me about then. To hell with the stigma attached to my cup size. I want to be this comfortable all the time.
She had me try on a few others and we decided that I fell pretty solidly between the 36F and 38E sizes. Some of those bras seriously made my breasts feel like they were weightless - which, she informed me - is the way things are SUPPOSED to work. Go figure! In the end, I could only afford 1 at the moment so I left with the Freya in 38E that first gave me that Ahhhhhhh.... moment. The hubs said it was the first time he'd actually seen me smiling at the end of a clothing related shopping trip - and I'd have to say he was right.
Rest assured I will be back for more. No more of this 'normal sizes end at DD' crap that society feeds us. I've secretly hated my breasts and not even known it - and I'm done with that. I have them, they are mine and damnit they will be comfortable and secure!
Now, to see what else I can find around here
Filed under Boob and body issues
9 comments
Not to rain on your parade too much, but is it really only a cup up that you went? A 38E is the same size as a 38DDD, and it's quite rare for large-breasted women to only go up one cup size when they start our method.
Glad to hear you found something that fit you better. I'm curious though since most women who switch from VS find a much smaller band size fits them in a properly-fitting bra. I see you posted measurements for your Freya but didn't write a review. Do you find the band pretty firm/tight with no riding up when you raise your arms? In my first department store fitting I was told 38B. I'm a 32G in real life.
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