Dealing With Other People's Attitudes and Opinions-A Rant » All bra adventures

Dealing With Other People's Attitudes and Opinions-A Rant

I'm going to try to make this not too long. O.o I need to get something off my chest. (hahah)
Hopefully I won't make some mistakes as I shall be ranting a lot.
I supposed I should start with a bit of my bra history and some personal history.
Due to being chubby and a bit of an early bloomer,I started getting boobs sooner than a lot of girls.

My mom hated bras,hated underwire bras,and so I got the impression from her that bras were awful and me trying to find a good bra only confirmed that most of the time.I refused to wear one for many years.
She is wearing a wireless cotton bra in a 36C or 38C when I'm pretty sure she needs a 32F or 32G.I can remember her wearing it with the band so loose it almost goes off her body over her shoulders.Most of the bras I've tried were from Wintersilks (good if you aren't so busty or for a sleep bra,the fabric is great!),and then an organic wireless cotton one from Decent Exposures that is somewhat like a sports bra.
I got a few in JCPenny's when I was around 15-16,she had me try on her size,even though our measurements are a lot different.Due to it being a stretchy cotton bra,it did somewhat work for a while,but after my boobs growing again,it didn't.I was wearing a 38D,and I'm pretty sure my waist measurement was 35 or 36 and normally my waist and underbust are similar,and my bust was 45-46.
For some reason,she keeps insisting she's a 38" band,and that I am bigger than her,so therefore I should wear a bigger band.When she wanted me to wear a 38 or 40 years ago,I probably needed a 34" band.
I would always get so upset that I would try on 10 bras at Walmart and none were right,I thought it was my boobs that were wrong.I even wanted to get surgery on them,actually when I was younger I wanted that too.When I was 14 I wanted to be completely flat chested partly do I didn't have to deal with bras.Then later on I wanted a breast lift.

Finally when I was 17,I think it was,I tried on some underwire bras,and found one style that worked,or so I thought.It was a cotton stretch wired bra from Walmart,I tried it in both 36C and 38D...I did notice the 36D fit me best,but rarely found one.And I would normally buy one and only have that one for months till I noticed the band stretched out and the fabric was piling and itchy.
I kept buying those and making due till after I was 18.

90% of the time I did not wear a bra...since I've had boobs.I would only wear it in public,or I would figure out clothes that I could go braless without,ones that often compressed my boobs a bit,or others I did not feel secure in,so I felt self conscious.I wouldn't run or dance a lot of times when I wanted to,or play sports,cause of them bouncing around.At first it was just cause of embarrassment,but now it's cause it's flat out uncomfortable.Sometimes I wouldn't even go places cause I couldn't figure out what to wear without needing a bra and the bra hurt too much.

So it not only affected my body image,but my health.I really wish I had known about proper bra fitting years ago,my life could have been much different cause of it.Some people may find that crazy,that a bra would affect my life so much,but it does.

I was on..I think it was Curve Appeal,and saw a photo from "FullerFigureFullerBust",and started reading her blog,as well as other bra blogs...oh man.I learned sooo much.I had no idea there were even bras in a G cup,and I knew nothing of swooping and scooping,or anything,really.
Since I didn't have much money,I wasn't able to buy a new one for a while.I finally did,and it was the wrong size,but I ordered a new one,and kept ordering till I had a few that worked for me,even though they were still a cup size or two too small.But then I gained some weight and went up several cup sizes.As bras from the UK often take 2 weeks to get to me,I would be a different size by the time they got here!I tried one of my 34G bras on again a few weeks after trying it on and realizing it was at least 2 cup sizes too small,and this time it was just stretched out way across me...even smaller than before,and my measurements hadn't changed much. O.o

I'm down to pretty much one bra that fits pretty good,though not quite right,a Rosie for Autograph silk bra in a size 38G,the cups are rather stretchy and so I think that's why it still works fairly well.
All in all I think I've tried 5-6 styles,mostly Marks and Spencers.3 different sizes of the Rosie bra,one that I am trying to sell,one 36E silk bra that I'm also trying to sell,2 of a modal memory foam bra that was super comfy when it fit,and 2 more modal ones,one that was too small when I got it and haven't worn,and a Mimi Holliday bra that would have been perfect 2 months ago,but is a bit too small now.

My friend made a comment that there seems to be something wrong with every bra I get and she just doesn't see how that could be possible,even though I keep either gaining weight or growing or both!She thinks I'm being too picky,and it makes me feel bad cause normally when something doesn't work for me,I tend to blame myself for it.This last year has actually been some of the first times I've started to think,maybe it's not all my fault,or my body's fault,about a lot of things,and bras have had a lot to do with that.

And my mom seems to be mad that I am spending money on bras,she seems to think I'm wasting my money.I found an Andorra bra on ebay that someone had suggested to me,and being a fan of nylon lace and aqua blue,made an offer for it,and got it half price. It's in a 36HH,and when my mom found that out she freaked.She said a lot of thing,like,I think you are going the wrong direction to try to find a bra,and fine,if you want to look like you have pistons coming off your chest.Which is funny as my boobs don't seem to have much projection.But still,comments like that from my mom tend to hurt and frustrate me.She's also very religious and the church I used to go to preached modesty like crazy..you basically got shunned if you wore something low-cut.Even when I wear something that barely shows any cleavage and would be considered modest by most people's standards,and both her and other women in the church would adjust the top.And of course when I do wear something low cut she makes lots of comments and tries to pull up my top.
Then she wanted me to get a 38D cotton wireless bra like I had years ago!When it started to not work years ago.And she didn't understand why I wouldn't want to get one.
The combination of all of that plus a few other things made me have a bit of a breakdown.
It's kind of stupid that I should have to fight so much to just get a good fitting bra,and it is a really important thing.
I've gone most of my life just putting up with it and making do and I don't want to have to settle anymore.

Filed under Boob and body issues

Shared on Aug 05, 2013 Flag this