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Getting tired of not having ABTF and not knowing my size » All bra adventures


Getting tired of not having ABTF and not knowing my size

Disclaimer- This will be a bit long.

I started my bra journey this year. I remember using a bra size calculator I found long ago and it giving me some "ridiculous" (the same one the ABTF cal gives me) size and thinking "no way, it's drunk". I carried on wearing 32Cs without much problem. Adjusting your bra throughout the day is what I thought was the norm.

Then, I discovered the subreddit ABTF and the calculator. Didn't measure myself correctly, got a 28E/F result. Tried the 28E, didn't work. Measured myself more correctly (or so I thought), gave me 28DD/E. All the photos of those sizes here didn't look like my breasts at all. Measurements of the bra seemed too big for me. Still got a bunch of bras. Some of the unlined ones have some wrinkling, little gaps but look alright under clothes so, it's close enough to ABTF. Learned I was a 26F according to the calculator. The comexims, which I thought would be perfect and a bra that actually fits, is secretly not. Just doesn't feel right.

I have a constant battle with the calculator, trying to see if the result makes sense to me. I have conical breasts so, it must be overestimating my size but that doesn't look like me either and it doesn't fit well. I have taken my measurements so many times, pressing in my puffy nipples (because that's suggested for conical breasts/puffy nipples) more and more, it still doesn't make sense! Nothing fits like a glove or actually, a bra. I'm comfortable enough in my unlined bras and bralettes but constantly having questions about bras, shapes and variances in sizes with different brands has really tired me out.

Almost all my free time, I'm trying to find more information. Something could click and it'll all make sense but it has not. I know it's generally a long journey until you find the right bra and finding the perfect bra is not really possible sometimes but I'd still like that. It can wait a bit, though. It occupies too much of my brain space and time. I think I need to focus on other things for a while.

This was just a rant, needed to get all this out. Thanks for reading my rambling and may you have better luck :')

Filed under Bras ups and downs

Shared on Jun 18, 2021 Flag this


  • I’ve got a pretty different breast shape, but I have had quite a hard time finding my size and bras that fit. Just wanted to say I sympathize! I had to order a lot, return a lot, and learn how to resist certain brands no matter how cute their bras were.

  • On an empathetical level:
    Sucks you feel so frustrated; seems you've gained a lot of knowledge already though - give yourself a break!?

    I know how it feels, learning something new and becoming super invested and wanting to 'finish the level' somehow.

    (completionist / perfectionist speaking from experience here (; )

    But it shouldn't be taking up all your time, or making you feel stressed!

    So yeah: if you're comfy in bralettes / current unlined bras, maybe just enjoy your summer in those, take some time off brafitting, and see where you're at come fall?

    If it helps, on a brafitting / 'technical' level:
    There's no such thing as perfection / a 100% ideal fit, IMO. At least for me, even with bras that fit amazingly overall, I will still always have a couple minor issues.
    Like insufficient projection, strap placement being too wide... Even Comexims with custom alterations don't usually give me the fit of my dreams, or the 'not feel like I'm wearing a bra at all' illusion.

    There's just too many components at play.
    Breast shape & placement, height and frame width, personal sensitivities / comfort levels, mismatches with manufacturer default settings..

    So in short, don't overanalyze - and just wear what feels most comfortable right now!

    If there's no major factors like back pain, need for massive support, or limitations in mobility like some people experience, I'd say just be happy with your boobs plus your bra(lette)s and see where you end up from there; whenever you feel like you have the time / energy / motivation!

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