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I don't know what to do anymore. I can't find a bra! I'm sorry if I come off as whiney or annoying, but I'm really really getting desperate! I really need help and I don't know where else to ask for it.
I simply can't find a bra that fits. All the bras I try on hurt. They really hurt! ... Some of them hurt less after wearing for a while and others don't hurt much as first and then just starts hurting me more and more - but either way, they hurt, and the ones that hurt less either slides around or gives a horrible shape.
I'm really really really getting desperate! It's just bras! I find it completely ridiculous that I CRY over bras!
I have measured and re-measured and I don't think my general size is off and I can find bras that seem the right size but are just the wrong shape for me/hurts. Sometimes
I find a single one that fits and looks okay but hurts. Other times I find one that fits, but is a ridiculous shape, and still hurts some (but manageable if it looked okay on me).
But I don't understand how they ALL feel too loose, but at the same time they dig in horrible at my sides? And if I tighten them almost beyond the unbearable, they still slide up in the back and creates large fat bulges underneath the band. It's like every band rides up whether its too big, fits or is too small - and then it settles on a roll of fat that it creates because it rides up.
At the same time they all sit too low on my chest. My breasts seem to sit higher than the band should sit on the back. I sort of need the band the angle downwards so the cups sit at my breasts and the band sit in the normal band place. If the band sits normally, the cups don't lift my breasts/sits lower than my breasts, and the wires pushes down on my stomach and gives me quite a big gut which I don't usually have. If I pull it up its fine in the front, but at the back, the band sits on my shoulder blades and rests on a big roll of back fat which is only there when I wear a bra. My breasts seem to push the cups down, the wires are probably to narrow at the bottom?
Apart from this issus, the straps are always placed too far out on the cups. They cut at my arm and they seem to pull at a wrong direction on the cup. On several bras, the outer edge of the cup is, in addition to the strap, also cutting in at my arm/armpit. Even though the bra is at the same time sitting too low.
The wire is sometimes too short or too tall, I don't even know. It pokes, mostly at my right side (the smallest breast!) into fat or breast tissue or muscle - I don't know! When I pull the bra up, the wire pokes in my armpit.
The cups are also generally too closed/curved. They cut in and gives quadboob, and it's accentuated by the cups sitting too low. Of cause it closes in too fast if the cups sit too low.
Generally cups tend to be too deep and makes my breasts look pointy. They sort of just lie in the cup, and "float around" in the cup, but a smaller cup means quad boob.
There are a few which don't initially hurt a lot, but they give such a ridiculously saggy or pointy look that it just looks like I'm not wearing a bra, or worse. It just looks like the boobs sit at my armpits, pointing outwards (they dont normally do that). And after an hour or two, those bras hurt to much too.
I never wear bras unless I have to go out or have company. I mostly wear my panache sports bra. It doesn't hurt, but the cups feel too big and I don't like the look from the front. It makes my chest seem wider than it is, but I can live with that. If I sit around for a while, the wire presses painfully on my ribs under my breasts. The straps are placed great. They are quite far in, but on me, they just look normal!! If I look at pictures or at the bra without wearing it, it's clear that they are placed close together, but they just look like they are placed normally when I wear the bra. So this is the bra I wear mostly. No straps or cup that cuts in and the band feels very firm and doesn't move (much). It also doesn't make a big back roll or big stomach. The wire can hurt but I can live with that. If only it didn't look so wide and if only it was a normal bra I could wear under normal clothes (you can see the top of the bra or the straps too often).
At this point I basically don't care how the bra looks, as long as it looks good under clothes and doesn't hurt, and the panache sports bra comes closest. But I still don't love the wide shape and I can't wear most of my clothes with it.
And aside from that, I deserve a normal bra!!!
I just don't know what to do, and this was quite a rant. It's making me really depressed, because I thought finding the right size would mean I could start wearing actual bras again! It hurt way less to wear the wrong size. I had shoulders and neck pains (too big band) and quadboob. But I never had painful cutting in from straps or band or cup shapes that didn't work. The bras just had the wrong size, but they were otherwise fine (they don't come in my size). I though I could just buy normal bras like those (thinly padded plunges) in my size and all would be fine. But no. All the bras in my size seemed to be constructed to differently.
I'm not looking for the perfect fit. I just want something that gives a nice, round, normal shape and doesn't presses down my belly fat and back fat/sits so low and that doesn't hurt like crazy in the band or straps.
I tried on a Cleo Meg (30H) for around an hour and my right armpit still hurts really bad two hours later. The skin and the muscle hurt.
I don't know what to do and I can't try on bras in any shops in my country.
When I present an issue here, I always get such good suggestions and ideas. But I feel like I've tried everything now (but I know I haven't)
Sometimes I'm recommended an alteration to move the straps (for example), but even if I did that, the cups still sits too low/weird shape/east west look/wide gore/band too big/band cuts in, but still slides around.
I feel like I must be missing some important points or clues as to what is wrong with my boobs/my bras.
I feel like I can't see the bigger picture and that I can't narrow down what I need. I don't understand.
Excuse my lame rant
How can I find a bra with open-ish cups, that sit high and straps that are not placed in my armpit, a cup that doesnt cut into my arm, with wide wires, shallow cups, narrow gore... *sigh*
I don't care if its a balconette, a plunge, half cup...
it's not like I WANT these things, but I need these things to not be in pain. I don't care if I have to "wear the bra wrong" if it looks fine and doesn't hurt.
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Shared on Feb 20, 2013 Flag this
The Cleo Lucy is a tricky fit, the top edge of the cups tends to cut in even if the cups are not too small. I would recommend trying a Cleo Alexa or a Cleo Meg, they do allow more volume on top than the Lucy does.
Cleo Zia, Chloe, Natasha or Marcie also also worth looking at, they are aviable for cheap prices on ebay.
Also since you said the 32H Boudoir Beau was a good fit besides the band being to big I would exchange it for a 30HH :) It' a great bra.
Your size seems pretty straight forward - you're around a 30HH or 30I (there is a cup size between HH and J!). The difficult thing will be finding a brand or style of bra that fits your shape! You'll probably notice that brands rarely re-shape the cups as the get larger, so many cups will be too wide and too shallow for you, and end somewhere in your armpits.
I have a really similar shape, but just slightly smaller boobs. I can't really help with recommendations, as the closest thing I've found to a good fit are Freya padded halfcup bras in 30G, which are half a size too small. They don't make them in a bigger cup size. You could perhaps buy some bras in a larger band size and take them in?
Do you have a large department store or boutique near you? There's really no substitute for trying them on.
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